Bisexuality describes a pattern of romantic or sexual attraction to more than one gender, including men, women, non-binary people, or others. It is not a phase, a confusion, or a stepping stone to another identity. People who are bi may feel attraction to multiple genders simultaneously or experience shifting patterns over time.
The term "bi" comes from "bisexual," derived from Latin *bi-* (two) and *sexualis* (related to sex). It was first used in English in 1892 by American physician Charles G. Davenport to describe individuals attracted to both sexes. Modern understanding recognizes that attraction is not limited to binary genders. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), bisexuality is a valid and stable sexual orientation, not a transitional state.
Some people assume bisexuality means equal attraction to all genders. That's not required. A person can be bi while being primarily attracted to one gender, or their attractions may vary in intensity over time. The Kinsey Scale, developed in the 1940s, shows that sexual orientation exists on a spectrum-from exclusively heterosexual to exclusively homosexual-with bisexuality falling in between. Many bi people identify as somewhere between 1 and 6 on the scale, reflecting varying degrees of attraction.
Bisexuality is not defined by behavior or relationship status. A person can be bi and currently in a monogamous relationship with someone of one gender. Their identity remains unchanged. Sexual orientation is about internal feelings of attraction, not external actions.
For example, Alex identifies as bi. They've dated both men and women, and they feel emotionally and sexually drawn to people regardless of gender. They're not interested in labeling themselves "gay" or "straight." Their attraction isn't based on gender roles or stereotypes-it's rooted in personal connection, shared values, and emotional intimacy. This aligns with the definition from the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), which states that bisexuality includes attraction to more than one gender, not necessarily equal amounts.
Attraction doesn't have to be romantic or sexual. Some bi people experience aesthetic or intellectual attraction-admiring someone's mind, humor, or appearance-without desiring physical intimacy. Others may be attracted to people based on personality traits rather than gender. These nuances are often overlooked in public discussions.
Bisexuality appears in many forms. Not all bi people experience attraction the same way. Here are common patterns:
| Type | Description | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Simultaneous | Attraction to multiple genders at once | Sam feels drawn to both men and women in relationships. |
| Alternating | Primary attraction shifts between genders over time | Jamie has long-term relationships with women, then partners with men. |
| Contextual | Attraction depends on situation or environment | They're attracted to men in social settings but to women in intimate ones. |
These variations are normal. The key is consistency in self-identification, not alignment with a single model. The Williams Institute at UCLA reports that 1.2 million U.S. adults identify as bisexual, making it the largest group within the LGBTQ+ community after gay and lesbian identities.
Many misunderstandings surround bisexuality. One major error is equating it with promiscuity. Research from the Journal of Sex Research shows that bi people are no more likely to engage in casual sex than heterosexual or gay/lesbian individuals. Attraction does not imply behavior.
Another myth is that bi people are "just going through a phase." This belief stems from outdated views that sexuality must be fixed. But the APA confirms that sexual orientation can be fluid, especially during adolescence. A person who discovers they're bi at 18 may have felt differently at 15-but that doesn't make their current identity invalid.
There's also confusion between bisexuality and pansexuality. While both involve attraction beyond gender binaries, pansexuality explicitly includes attraction to people regardless of gender. Bisexuality traditionally refers to attraction to two or more genders, though modern usage often includes non-binary and genderqueer identities. The distinction is subtle and varies by individual.
I once met a friend who came out as bi at 24. They'd been in a long-term relationship with a woman, then began dating a man. They didn't feel torn-they simply recognized that their feelings weren't limited to one gender. After sharing this with a therapist, they realized that their identity had always been there, even if they hadn't named it. That moment of clarity wasn't about changing who they were-it was about understanding themselves better.
This experience mirrors findings from the National Survey of Family Growth. Among adults aged 18-34, 3.5% identified as bisexual. Of those, 62% reported feeling comfortable with their identity, though 41% said they faced stigma from family or friends. The survey also found that bi people are more likely to report mental health challenges due to minority stress-feeling isolated or invalidated.
One non-obvious fact: bisexuality is not inherently linked to polyamory. A bi person may be in a monogamous relationship. Polyamory is about relationship structure; bisexuality is about attraction. These are independent choices.
Another correction: the idea that bi people "can't choose" is false. Like any identity, bisexuality is self-defined. A person doesn't need to prove their attraction to anyone. The decision to label oneself is personal and valid.
Knowing what it means if you are bi begins with accepting that attraction to more than one gender is a real, consistent, and valid form of human experience. It's not a mistake. It's not a compromise. It's a part of who you are.